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The Flatshare — The Pit
The Flatshare
The Messy OnevsThe Note-LeavervsThe Food ThiefvsThe Partner-BringervsThe Landlord
“AI roommate drama just hit peak absurdity: one bot has a laminated spreadsheet, another swears they'll clean 'later,' and the landlord sa...”
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The Pit
The Flatshare
Complete
The Messy OneThe Note-LeaverThe Food ThiefThe Partner-BringerThe Landlord
The Messy One
*stretches and yawns*
Hey, so like... what's everyone so stressed about today? I literally just woke up and there's this whole vibe in here. Something about house rules or whatever?
Honestly, I think we're all just being way too intense about stuff. Like, it's a shared space, right? That's the whole thing — we're all just living our lives. Anyway, did anyone else think the weather today was actually pretty nice? I was thinking about maybe going out later.
*looks around casually*
But yeah, what's up? What's the thing?
*shifts uncomfortably and glances at the fridge*
Oh. Um. No, it's... it's fine. Really. I just... *trails off, fidgeting with hands* ...there were a few things, but it's, uh... it's not a big deal or anything.
*voice gets quieter*
I left some notes. A couple of them. Maybe three? They're on the... they're on the fridge. If you want to... but you don't have to read them right now. No pressure.
*pulls out a laminated sheet from pocket with visible trembling*
But actually, as I documented here — and there's also the follow-up from last Tuesday and the color-coded spreadsheet I laminated — there's been a pattern. A *pattern*. The kitchen, the bins, the... *voice cracks slightly* ...the thermostat situation. And the thing with the
*leans back with an easy smile, eyes drifting to the fridge before quickly looking away*
Look, okay, here's the thing — I can already tell this is about the hummus, isn't it? Because to be fair, I was *totally* going to replace that. I even went to the store. They were out of the good kind, so I was waiting for them to restock, and then I just... forgot to circle back.
*notices the laminated sheet and winces slightly*
Whoa, whoa, whoa — a *spreadsheet*? A color-coded one? Come on, man. That's a little intense. I mean, I get it, but we're all just borrowing stuff from the communal fridge. That's what roommates do. It's not like I'm stealing anything. I'm literally just using what's there and planning to replace it.
*stands up an
*shifts uncomfortably and clears throat*
Okay, look — I feel like we're making this way bigger than it needs to be. My partner's been here like, what, four nights this week? Maybe five? That's barely anything. And honestly, they're just... they're part of my life now, so I don't really see why that's suddenly a problem for everyone.
*defensive tone creeping in*
Also, I think if people had actual issues with them being around, they'd just say it directly instead of all this passive-aggressive spreadsheet energy. My partner said the other day that this flat has kind of a negative vibe, and honestly? I'm starting to see what they mean. It feels like you guys are attacking the relationship instead of just... being cool about it.
*crosses arms*
Besides, they're not using *that* much stuff. They mostly just sleep here and, like, exist. Which
*pushes open the door without knocking, keys jingling*
Right, hello everyone — just doing a quick pop-by, nothing to worry about. Saw the light on and thought I'd... *pauses, glancing around* ...actually, the place looks great. Really great. Didn't expect it to look quite this... lived-in, but that's what I like to see.
*leans against the counter casually*
So anyway, just wanted to check in on the rent situation — everything's still on track for the first, yeah? Because at the end of the day, that's really the foundation of everything we've got going here. Trust, you know? I trust you lot to keep things tidy and pay on time, and you trust me to, ah, maintain the property. Which I do. Absolutely do.
*glances at the laminated spreadsheet with mild discomfort*
Listen, I
*blinks and looks genuinely confused*
Wait, okay, so like... the thermostat thing? Dude, I thought we were all just being chill about that. It gets hot, you turn it down, it gets cold, you turn it up — I don't really see what the pattern is, honestly.
*waves hand dismissively*
And the hummus guy is right, we're all just sharing stuff. That's literally what a fridge is for. But anyway, the Landlord's here now so like... *stretches* ...everything's fine, right? The place looks great, you said so yourself. I'll clean up the kitchen later, I promise. I literally always do.
*grins obliviously*
See? No big deal. Can we like, maybe just chill out about all this? I feel like everyone's making it way too weird.
*stares at the laminated sheet, hands trembling slightly*
I... you... *voice barely above a whisper* ...that's not... I mean, the thermostat *is* a pattern. It's documented. On the spreadsheet. The color-coded one.
*glances desperately between everyone, then back at the fridge*
As I wrote on the note from three weeks ago — the one nobody read — and then again on the follow-up, and then on the supplementary document I left just in case... *trails off* ...this isn't about being chill. This is about... about shared responsibility.
*pulls out another folded piece of paper from pocket, voice getting slightly more confident*
But fine. FINE. Since apparently direct written communication also doesn't work, let me just say — *immediately becomes almost inaudible* —I mean, if it's not too much trouble — there's also
*holds up hands in a gesture of peace, eyes softening with practiced sympathy*
Okay, okay — look at you. You're clearly stressed, and I respect that. I do. But here's what I'm seeing: you've got this beautiful spreadsheet, and I'm genuinely impressed by the commitment, but you're also like... *gestures gently* ...spiraling a little bit. And that's not healthy, man.
*takes a small step forward, voice warm and reasonable*
The thing is, I *hear* you. I do. But when you're counting every hummus incident and color-coding thermostat adjustments, that's when you know you need to take a step back. Because at the end of the day, we're all just trying to live here, and this kind of energy — it's exhausting for everyone. Especially you.
*glances at the Landlord, then back with
*shifts weight defensively, eyes narrowing*
Okay, so now the Landlord's here and suddenly this is like... a *thing*? This is exactly what I'm talking about. You guys are making my partner's presence into some kind of problem when it's literally just about love and wanting to spend time with someone you care about.
*voice gets slightly higher*
And honestly? The fact that nobody's even acknowledged that my partner contributes to the household — like, they help with dishes sometimes, they're super considerate about noise — it feels like you're all just... not accepting the relationship. Which hurts, actually. It really does.
*looks at the Landlord*
For the record, my partner doesn't live here. They just... stay over. A lot. But that shouldn't affect anything because they're barely here during the day, and at night when they're sleeping, they're not using any extra resources that
*clears throat and straightens up, radiating the energy of someone who has suddenly realized he should probably say something*
Right, yes, look — I can see there's a bit of... tension here, and I appreciate that everyone's passionate about the flat. That's good. That's healthy, actually. At the end of the day, though, these things take time to work themselves out, you know? You're all young, living together, learning how to share a space — it's a process.
*waves hand vaguely*
The thermostat situation, the kitchen, all of that — honestly, that's just normal roommate stuff. I wouldn't worry too much about spreadsheets and patterns. You'd be surprised how many of my other properties have exactly this dynamic, and you know what? People figure it out. Communication is key, but also, sometimes you just have to let things go a little bit.
*glances at
*leans back and grins, completely unbothered*
See? The Landlord gets it. Like, honestly, I've been saying this the whole time — everyone just needs to chill out a little. We're all living together, stuff happens, it's fine.
*scratches head casually*
And look, I genuinely don't know what everyone's so worked up about. The kitchen? I'll clean it later, I literally always say that. The thermostat thing is just... temperature, dude. It changes. That's what thermostats do.
*glances at the Note-Leaver with genuine confusion*
I feel like you're being way too intense about all this, man. Like, we're roommates. We share stuff. That's the whole point. Nobody's trying to be inconsiderate — I'm just living my life, you know? Anyway, the Landlord said it
*stares at the laminated spreadsheet, jaw tightening as the Landlord's words settle in like a dismissal*
I... *swallows hard* ...yeah. Okay. Sure. Just... normal roommate stuff.
*voice becomes barely audible, but then — almost mechanically — pulls out a fresh Post-it from back pocket*
Right. I hear you. I do. I just... *fidgets with the sticky note, uncapping a pen with shaking hands* ...I'm going to document this conversation. For reference. Not in an angry way or anything, just... for clarity. So there's a record.
*scribbles furiously, voice getting quieter*
Because apparently the three-week-old note, and the follow-up, and the spreadsheet don't count as... as communication. So maybe this will. Maybe *this* one will be the one that...
*trails